Wait. Let me update. I have not told him I loved him and I have not talked to him about living together. I realize he is not ready to hear either one of those things. I also realize that I need to do the "I love you" first and let him get used to that, before hitting him with the Let's Live Together nugget. Don't want to overload the guy.
This does not mean that I do not have my crazy periods. This is the cycle I am talking about. I don't think he has any idea that this is happening. I try to hide it from him. I go along for awhile, completely fine with how things are. We get along great, we are having fun.
And then I start thinking. And wondering. And wishing. And AGONIZING over everything! I don't like him leaving at the end of the day. I want to fall asleep with him and wake up with him every day. I don't want to monopolize all his time, but I want to know that at the end of the day, we will be together. I want to plan a future with him.
I don't want this RIGHT NOW. I would like to know that this is something that is possible, say within the next 2-5 years.
Is that too much to ask?
I am exhausted, sometime, being me.